The Soldier Next Door

The drive to the Hospital is near to torture as I feel torn away from Ana for each ticking second too long. The only thought that consumed me as I sat there in silence, trying my best not to show the tears that wanted to burn with pain down cheeks that had gone pale and near damn cold, the only single thing that ran through my mind is that all of this is my fault.

If I were not fucking cheating on her with Emma, then none of this would have happened. I will wallow in my own misery rightfully deserved if anything has to happen to her.

So here I am, I am standing in a godforsaken waiting room. With each second that the clock ticks to a minute, there is a small piece of me that is slowly dying.

The hardest thing in life is having patience. They say the longer something takes, the better the outcome. Well, I say it is bullshit.

We have been waiting like what seems forever. Everyone is trying their level best to calm me down and assure me that everything is going to be okay. Well, I have had enough.

“The next fucking person that tells me to calm down is getting punched.”

Then Gibbs reluctantly steps forward. “Ethan, at least sit down then. That racing up and down is not doing your heart any good.”

I only but snap at him as he steps two steps back out of the fear that my fist will make an impact with his face. Yet I look at him with one dumbfounded look upon my face, “What the fuck does walking up and down have to do with my heart?”

Then next is Ray with his best attempt, “Please come with me so we can get coffee.”

“Gibbs just fucking said I am racing my heart rate up,” I pause for a few moments as I shake my head. “Now, you want to give me caffeine?”

Well, this man has always been a wise-ass; he can be fucking lucky that he is so far away, for he dares to continue, “Then can I get you decaf then?”

“Do I look like someone that drinks goddamn decaf coffee?”

Ray, too, steps two steps back far from my reach, yet he is not ready to give up, “Then come get some fresh air.”

“I am breathing perfectly fine. I don’t need fucking fresh air!”

With both of them feeling rather defeated, I continue to pace the length of the floor. The longer this Doctor is taking, the worse the images of so many scenarios run through my mind in endless circles.

“Why the fuck is this Doctor taking so long?” Well, I have had enough of waiting, so I look at Gibbs, “Gibbs, please go find this Doctor before I break his fucking legs.” Then I turn to Ray, “Please go get me that coffee with caffeine.”

With that, everyone fucks off, leaving me alone with Williams. He only looks at me for a brief moment, after a few seconds of staring me in the eyes, “Ethan, come take a seat.”

Very reluctantly, with my eyes still focussed on the door, I sit down next to him, my heart is beating fast, and I feel that I can burst out crying any second.

“Fuck Williams, I am so goddamn scared. I don’t know what I am going to do if something happens to her.”

“Ethan, I just know she will be okay. You guys have been through so much shit, and it always works out.”

“This is the kind of thing I cannot control. I can save her, I can even fix her, but my damn hands are tied here.”

“Ethan, she is a fighter; she is one damn hard-ass stubborn woman.”

I cannot help but chuckle at him.

Just as my tears dry up, I see Ray come back with the coffee, “Here, I put some extra sugar in for you.”

“Seriously? Do you want to kill me?”

Just then, Gibbs comes back with the Doctor. I did not quite think he would get it right. But, “Who the fuck is with Ana?”

The Doctor only clears his throat as he steps nervously around. Well, I can only think what he thinks of our bunch. Then he mumbles before he starts to speak, “There is another Doctor and Nurse with her.”

“How is she? Is she okay?”

With that, I wink at Gibbs to let go of the Doctor’s that seems very much relieved now.

“How is Ana?”

He seems to look rather concerned, and I know that I am not about to like what he is going to tell me. With only but a half-smile, he reaches his hand to greet me, “Dr. Johnson.”

Not giving much thought to his novelties, I immediately interrupt him, “How is Ana? Which part of the question do you not understand?”

I watch as he hesitates for but a moment, “She is resting; I have given her something to sleep.”

In almost an instant, there is a relief that washes over me, but then that suffocating grip to my chest returns, “And the baby?”

The Doctor goes completely silent and rests his hand upon my shoulder, “Come, let me take you to Ana.”

The Doctor leads me to the room where my Ana is in. We stop at some godawful blue room where Ana seems to be resting. The Doctor leaves while I go inside. As soon as I step through the doorway, I see her opening her eyes. Her eyes are puffy from all the crying; her mascara is rubbed in all different ways over her face.

She gives me one of her best fake smiles, “Hey, soldier.”

“Hey, boo. How are you feeling?” I softly take her hand in mine, and all I can feel is it trembling. Then she bursts out crying, “Hey, ssshhh, everything is okay.”

She takes my face in her hand and gives me a gentle kiss on the lips. Then that genuine little smile forms around the corners of her lips. But there is something wrong that she is not telling me.

“Boo, what is wrong? Why are you crying?”

“Ethan, I need to tell you something.”Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

“Please don’t let it be bad news; I will go fetch Ray to come really shoot this doctor.”

She chuckles softly. “I have never seen anyone go so pale so quickly in my life before.”

Ya, just seeing the image come back to my mind makes me burst out in laughter. “The man is crazy. Now, what is wrong, boo?”

She hesitates for a while, and I can see, well, her eyes are very hard to read. There seems to be a hint of happiness between what seems to be a lot of pain. Now she does not look in pain, and if she were on morphine, she would not be able to hold her sentences together.

Something is up, and it is making me worry.

But her persistent silence continues as the tears start to trickle down her face again. And fuck! It breaks me into pieces, for I feel so helpless. There is nothing I can do to take her pain away. God, I cannot even protect her.

I sometimes feel that she needs to be protected from me.

But fuck that thought.

“Boo, you are really making me worry.” Yet, then another thought springs to mind, “Why are you in this godawful blue room? Did they run out of white?”

“That is sort of…well, I don’t know. I am not sure, Ethan. All I know is that I am scared.”

“Boo, no matter what it is, we will get through it. We always get through it, well, perhaps not the right way, but we make it. We always find our way back to each other.” Then the thought occurs to me again. “Are you going to leave again?”

“No, I promised you I won’t leave again, and I think, well, I know that after today that you are never going to want me to leave. Perhaps want is too weak a word; I should rather say that you will not.”

Ya, this girl is making no sense.

But just then, the Doctor nervously comes back into the room to check up on Ana, not really seeing very concerned about telling me about the baby.

In fact…

They both are way too fucking calm for my liking.

So with nothing but a big smile on his face, the Doctor comes and stands next to me, and rather oddly, he extends his hand to shake mine. I only but cock my head and frown at him, “Did you have a bit too much morphine? Can one of you tell me what is going on?”

“Well, Mr. Hunter,” he only but continues to smile at me with a rather odd fucking smirk around his face. And ya, I have had about enough of these two smiling. So I only but stand from the chair where I have been sitting and make my way around to where this Doctor is standing. His eyes grow rather wide as I descend on him like a storm. He only but steps two steps away and looks at Ana.

“I suggest you tell your husband about the baby before he kills me.”