The Haunted’s Kiss of Regret and Repentance

“Shyne, this is not some sort of voodoo thing that you see in the movies. You don’t just go and pray the same thing and then you get transported into another dimension or something,” The pastors told me, “When we go deeper in prayer, you go deeper in your relationship with God. This won’t work unless your sincerity and focus is on point. You need to surrender, and make sure that you are doing this for your desire to grow in faith and be free from your past mistakes.”

“I understand,” I answered, and I gave all of them a smile.” After I had that weird vision last time, I was able to make peace with my past. But I know that it was also some sort of warning for me. I needed to get through this life, and my past was one of the distractions that could hinder me. I realized that though I made peace with Rian in my mind, I needed to make sure that I made peace with him in my spirit and make peace with myself as well.“

After the vision that I had last time, it was explained to me by the pastors that it was a way of God to tell me that I would face many more trials in the past. The road to a new life in Christ, and the life towards freedom is difficult. However, I have the choice to focus on the freedom that God offers. The narrow road was difficult, but it was the best, because it was the road that enabled me to grow more focused in life, and get the best reward. The wide road was the road to destruction. The road to temporary happiness with eternal damnation.

I was glad that I decided to take the narrow road in my vision, because it was like a prophecy to me that after I get through the hardships in life, I was bound to get the best reward I can get. I was able to make peace with Rian at the end of everything, and it felt like my life was free. Though there was something bugging me, I knew that it wasn’t Rian anymore. I have no idea what bothers me, but I know that whatever it is, this meditation and prayer would help me solve it.

I looked at my hands, and my tears fell on the palms of my hand as I recalled how much regret I felt. There was all sorts of sadness inside that vision after, and I knew I needed to have real peace, not just regrets and forgiveness. I knew in my heart that this is what I wanted. I wanted to be truly free from my past and from whatever is holding me from moving on to the future. I was ready.

“Very well then. I see that you’re all set,” our senior pastor said. There were three of them, and Emily and I were the fourth and fifth people inside of the church.

We read the bible and had a quick fellowship before we prayed. The pastors each explained about being free. The true freedom that I needed was freedom from myself. The only reason why the curse worked was because I lost myself to fear, to regret, and to guilt. Now, I needed to find myself again and give myself fully to the Lord Jesus Christ. I need to accept my mistakes, and not do any of them ever again. We did the same thing as we did before, and after a few minutes of meditating the word of God, I entered the dream-like state that I was once in. The only thing different this time was the events that followed.

In the vision that I was currently having, I was sanding outside. I checked my surroundings, and I realized that I was inside of my old elementary school building. Looking down, I realized that I was standing at the open space where kids used to wait for their parents to pick them up. I smiled at the memory, since I remembered how much I loved staying here while I told the body guards that I wanted to stay for a few more minutes before we went home. They would always let me paint or draw one picture each day.

I walked a few meters to reach the grassy part of this open area, and I saw myself as a little girl, about the age of six. I was on one of the benches near the stairs, and I was busy painting using my watercolors that I remembered was a gift from my mother.

“I guess nothing really did change after all these years,” I said fondly as I watched my little self painting a picture on a sheet of paper. My little hands were covered with paint, and I changed from my school uniform, to casual clothes.

As I looked at my younger version and at the painting, I had a wide smile. But, it changed into a frown when I realized what the little me was painting.

“Shyne…” a voice behind me whispered, and when I looked behind me, no one was there.This text is property of Nô/velD/rama.Org.

I decided to ignore it and look back at my past little self and the painting that she was doing. I remember that painting, and it still gives me chills whenever I see it.

“Of all the memories,” I exasperatedly said and kicked the dirt a bit before focusing on the painting once more, “I hate this memory…” I said and walked towards the little me, but I stopped when something caught my eyes a few meters away from my little self.

I took a deep breath and decided to ignore it. I just looked at the small painting again and wished it wasn’t the memory that I was now dreaming of. This was the day I was mad at my parents for missing the family day event at my school.

Everyone had their parents and family, and I sat on the field all alone. My nanny gave me food, and then she left afterwards. I was miserable, so I decided to paint, because it calmed me down. My little self was smiling, but I knew, deep in her heart, he was breaking.

I looked at the painting again, and I remembered that I used paint, but it was more like a drawing using watercolor paint. It was an image of my family. My mom and dad were with my brother and sister, and the four of them were all holding hands. They were very happy while they were outside of our house which was on the right side of the road.

Meanwhile, the left side of the road led to a different building. It led to the school, and I drew myself. In the drawing I was pulling my little trolley bag with all my things, and I was sad. I was walking towards a different direction, and it was the road towards the school. It was a sad drawing of how I have always felt like I was alone.

“Nothing changed,” I whispered to myself as a lone tear fell from my eyes.

I was looking at the baby Shyne painting, and I felt pain in my heart as I saw my little self happily painting it. I was enjoying myself, and I knew it was a facade. I wasn’t enjoying it that time, because I was just pretending so the guards and my nannies won’t tell my parents.

My eyes grew wide as I realized that something dark began approaching the little Shyne from a distance. I tried to stop the shadow, but something white passed through me and stopped the shadow. I was beyond shocked as the light and dark disappeared as if nothing happened. The baby Shyne was smiling and still painting. I turned around and saw that the shadow was gone, and a white being with wings was now standing behind the baby like a protector. It was the same being I saw during the crossroads dream I had a while back. He was the angel on the right road.

My dream changed suddenly, and I saw myself standing in the middle of a meadow. A loud horn sounded that sent chills throughout my entire body, and the scene changed. I was now face to face with the man in light once more. No words came out of my mouth. I only stared at the man’s hand with a hole in it, and closed my eyes. Somehow, I felt safe whenever the man was around.

I felt like I should know him, but I just didn’t. No matter how hard I tried to think of who he was, I just couldn’t find the answer as to who that glowing person was. All I knew was that I was glad he was there with me.

“Shyne…” the man spoke, and I looked up at him for a brief moment before I closed my eyes again because of his brightness.

“Umh,” I cleared my throat, “w-who are you?” I asked while my voice trembled. I felt fear, but this was not the regular fear. I revered him. I knew that I must fear his power, but not him.

The man chuckled, and it sounded like waves crashing, as the wind picked up suddenly. It was weird, because I couldn’t open my eyes so I had no idea what my surroundings were.

“You already know me, Shyne,” he said warmly, like a kind old grandfather trying to soothe his curious little grandkid, “You know who I am now, but you need to grow more and get to know me better. Okay? Never forget that.” He said and chuckled again as I smiled at the unexplainable warmth I felt from the man.

As I closed her eyes at the man’s words, I saw myself enter into another vision, and I was now in front of the church’s altar. There was no one there, but the lights were on, and I didn’t feel any fear or heaviness.

“How many dreams do I have to go through?” I whispered to myself as I slowly walked towards the altar.

“Excuse me,” I suddenly turned around to see who was talking, and I saw the little Shyne I watched before, and she was looking at me with an innocent smile.

The little girl was holding a bag with art materials, and she gestured for me to follow her towards the altar by giving me her little hand. I gladly took it and sat cross-legged at the altar with her.

“Hey, little one, how are you?” I asked little Shyne, and she just giggled.

“I’m fine, miss,” she said as she handed me a paint brush, “I would be better if I was in outer space. I want to paint on the moon!” We both laughed, and I was reminded that this was what I longed for in life. To have someone to talk to.

Little Shyne and I talked about both our dreams. I realized that I lost my inner child. I lost the hope and wonder I had in my life. I was too filled with doubts and fear, and I lost myself along the way. I told the little girl about my regrets, and I told her to never follow my mistakes. It was a dream but it felt nice to talk to my old self and correct myself somehow.

The two of us drew on the sketch pads that little Shyne gave me. When we were done, we switched sketch pads. Little Shyne was busy looking at the paper that I gave her of her face, I was stunned as I looked down at the drawing of a family of five, with little Shyne crying and heading towards an unknown location while her family were outside the house. I looked up and the little girl was now gone.

“L-little Shyne?” I asked as I clutched the sketch pad tightly against my chest.

“Shyne…” a girl’s voice sounded, and I looked behind me as I screamed. I fell to the ground with a loud thud, and I saw my fifteen year old self standing on the altar. I was gloomy, and I had the look of hate on my eyes.

“Take my hand,” said my fifteen year old self.

I took a deep breath before I stretched my trembling hands to her and stood up. I realized that I was still clutching the painting, and as I looked behind me, the little girl was now at the door a few meters away and she was waving goodbye with a bright smile.

I looked back at my other self, and she was now looking at our hand with a sad expression. She gave me a small tug, and as we walked to the direction of the door, the little Shyne was gone.

I followed the girl, and outside, the scene was now on top of the mountain where the ocean was below. I was about five meters away from the cliff as I felt the strong wind blow while the sky turned black. The little fifteen-year-old Shyne was no longer holding my hand, but she was on the edge of the cliff as she looked at me with eyes filled with tears.