I want You Deeper

This was not how she’d pictured a luau.

“This is so cool.”

Apparently, though, it was the way April had pictured it. She

was staring at the scene in front of them, her eyes lit up. Renee could imagine this would be amazing if everything in her life was normal. When things were so out of whack, the torches, delicious food, fun activities, and upcoming entertainment seemed way out of place. She just wanted to go sit in her cabin on the boat and pout.

They weren’t staying on the boat tonight, though. Derek had texted Captain Jake to let them know there were rooms at a nearby hotel for the three of them. Three separate rooms. While she was relieved they wouldn’t have to take the hour-plus-long drive back to the other side of the island after this was all over, the longer she was here, the more she itched to just get away.

“Look who’s here,” April whispered to Renee as they stood in a buffet line that didn’t seem like it was ever going to move forward. She had a feeling half the people here would start fainting from low blood sugar before they got the first morsel of food.

Renee followed April’s stare to the other side of the outdoor dining area that had been set up around a stage. Most of the tables were empty since everyone was over here in line, but those who weren’t here were seated. That made it easy to spot Derek. Or maybe she’d just instantly pick him out of any crowd.

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him. It was a reaction she didn’t want to have, but there it was. And that was how she knew she couldn’t just fly home and forget him.

But she had no other choice.

“I guess he’s been texting Jake.” April nodded in the direction of the table they’d chosen. The captain had stayed there, saying he was saving their table.

Sure enough, Derek was heading straight for Jake, big smile on his face. He looked carefree and happy-an expression Renee hadn’t seen from him since the big revelation. She could only hope it wouldn’t completely vanish once she was nearby.

“I guess you guys are still fighting,” April said.

“Can you blame him?”

April knew Renee had lied to Derek, but she didn’t know the truth about Derek. That would be a violation of Derek’s privacy. She’d hurt him enough. But it had been tough to deny the tension between Renee and Derek, and Jake probably had noticed it, too. In those long, tense final days on the boat, April and Jake had been inseparable aside from his sleep time. That was when April spent time with Renee, and they had their heart-toheart chats.

“Actually, I can.” Mouth set in a firm line, April glared over in Derek’s direction before continuing. “You couldn’t have predicted how you’d feel about him once you really got to know him. Yeah, you may have hurt him

with whatever you lied about, but you fell in love with him.”

Eyes wide, Renee looked at her. “Love? I don’t know-”

“Oh, come on. Anyone can see it. He’s in love with you, too. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been so mad at you. You didn’t see him that last day. He was devastated. It may show as anger to you, but it was hurt, sadness… heartbreak. You broke his heart.”

Renee looked over at Derek, running through April’s words. He’d taken a seat at the table and was laughing along with the captain. Devastated and heartbroken? She wouldn’t say that about what she saw right now. But she couldn’t explain his change in mood aside from the fact that he hadn’t seen her all day.

“He thinks I’m flying out tomorrow,” Renee told April. “He even offered to buy me a ticket out of here. That’s how much he wants me gone.” “He wants you gone so he can start the process of getting over you. Don’t let him.”

The line started moving then, giving Renee an excuse not to respond. She wouldn’t have known what to say to that. Her first instinct was to argue with April-to say he never had real feelings for her in the first place. But if that was true, would he have been so hurt? So angry?

“I’ve got your back. Don’t worry,” April uttered with a wink, before turning and heading back to the table, full plate in hand.

Renee finished up her own plate and headed back to the table, ready to pick up the conversation where they’d left off.

Unfortunately, she didn’t get the chance. The captain and Derek were already at the end of the buffet line when Renee arrived at the table, but that wasn’t why she couldn’t speak. Without noticing, they’d chosen a table next to one of the large speakers set up on stands on either side of the stage. That meant as the music started, there was no talking. Even if she shouted, she couldn’t have been heard.

Renee thought it would be a struggle to force down the food on her plate. Nothing zapped her appetite like a heavy case of the jitters. But the combination of roasted pig, long rice, macaroni salad, and mango bread was just too much to resist. It could also be, as pretend professional chef for the past couple of weeks, she’d gained an all-new appreciation for just how much work went into preparing a delicious meal like this.

While she ate, she kept an eye on the buffet line, but somehow, Derek still managed to sneak up on her. She knew he’d arrived when the chair next to her scooted back and a plate landed on the table next to her. Captain Jake came around the table, taking his seat next to April. All Renee could think was that she was glad they couldn’t talk right now.

But that didn’t make her any less aware of Derek’s presence nearby. Just being close to him again felt comforting somehow. Maybe it was because they couldn’t talk. As they finished eating and leaned back in their chairs to watch the performance, it was easy to pretend he wasn’t mad at her anymore, even though deep down she knew he was.

“Thank you, everyone!” the announcer said as the dancing wound down. “We’ll be taking pictures on the stage. Please line up over there.

Meanwhile, enjoy dancing with our house band, the Coconuts.”

April snorted. “They should come out dressed as coconuts.”Please check at N/ôvel(D)rama.Org.

Instead, they wore tropical shirts and cargo shorts. It was a very beachyisland vibe that went with the music they were playing. But there were no drums and the prevailing instrument was a ukulele, so it was still possible to speak to each other at the table and be heard.

Renee’s nervousness kicked into high gear as she realized she’d have to face Derek for the first time since they’d left the boat. Would he speak to her? Would he make it clear he wanted nothing more to do with her?

“I want to dance,” April announced suddenly.

Sure enough, people had begun congregating on the small dance floor in front of the stage. Couples slow dancing. Renee had been so caught up in her own thoughts, she hadn’t even noticed.

Captain Jake flashed Derek a look. “What the lady wants, the lady gets.”

Then they were gone, leaving Renee, Derek, and the heavy silence between them. She considered the various approaches-basically, she could pretend nothing had happened or she could just address it flat out.

“When’s your story going live? I’d love some advance notice.”

That was the other option-wait to see what he would do. She had her answer. He’d put her on the spot. Now was her opportunity to do something to fix this.

“I never sent it.”

That was all she could say at this point. She wanted to drop the story altogether, but she was holding off. She’d be darned if she’d let him dump her and never speak to her again, then walk away without a story. If she was going to lose him, may as well do the very thing he dumped her for doing, right?

She wasn’t feeling so confident about that these days, though.

“That’s not what I asked.” He stared at her, his expression letting her know he was serious about this. Evasiveness wouldn’t work. He needed an answer.

“I’m having second thoughts.” She stared at the stage to avoid those deep brown eyes that seemed to look right through her. “I’ll write a profile on you if you want, but otherwise, I think I’m done with this story.”

“You think?”

His tone wasn’t accusatory, but she didn’t like it. She was trying to work through this in her head. She was giving up her hopes of being published by her dream publication and maybe leveraging it into future career opportunities. She was also dealing with this weird feeling that she didn’t care about any of that right now.

She didn’t even know what she wanted anymore.

“Is it too early for me to have a midlife crisis?”

The laugh that came out of him in response to her question made her feel better than anything had in days. She realized then just how much it meant to her for things to be okay between them again.

Derek let out a sigh. “It’s not about the story. I don’t care about the story. It’s about the lie.”

Renee nodded, tears welling in her eyes. “If I could do it over again, I would have been honest from the start. But that would have been the end of it. I would never have gotten to know you because the second you found out

I was a reporter, you would have shut me out.”

“Let’s go for a walk.”

His suggestion took her by surprise. He wanted to walk away from here with her…alone? That had to be a good sign, right?

Unless he was going to use that walk to let her down easily. Maybe he wanted to cut all ties with her. Or he could be planning to issue an ultimatum-drop the article or he’d never speak to her again.

If she was honest, that would make it easier. Anger and distance led her to believe, whether it made sense or not, that everything she’d ever felt for him had been one-sided. Pain, sadness, hurt… All that made her think he cared.

They walked in silence until they were on the big patch of sand between the stage and the waves. There were a few others out here, but most of them were either playing in the waves or seated. It was easy to find an area to keep to themselves. He chose a section of sand that was slightly raised and sat down. Without invitation, she sat down next to him.

“I wasn’t running from my father.”

Renee was afraid to look at him now that he was opening up to her. At this point, she didn’t even want to breathe. What if he started fearing anything he told her would be in the article?

It wouldn’t. She knew that much at this point. She would not break his trust, even if it meant never seeing him again.

“I run,” he said quietly. “It’s what I do. It has nothing to do with him asking for money. I just…run.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his head lower. He began moving his foot around on the sand, leaving an interesting imprint, like he was drawing in the sand with the heel of his sneaker.

“My mom left when I was young and my dad didn’t deal well,” he said, speaking so quietly that it was tough to hear him over the crash of the waves. “Eventually, I went to live with my grandparents. I guess the whole

thing made me a bit of a loner. Then I met you.”

Those four words punched her in the stomach.

“I broke your trust,” Renee said, realizing for the first time the full extent of the hurt she’d caused. “It was the worst thing I could have done.”

He looked over at her, and finally, she dared to return his stare. Yes, there was definitely hurt in his eyes, and it sent a sharp pain through her.

“I wish I could say it surprised me.” He looked down at his feet again. “I’ve spent all these years avoiding getting close to anyone. All my relationships were surface. Same with friendships, business partnerships, everything. If I didn’t have anyone close to me, nobody could let me down.”

“I guess it’s hard to keep distance when you’re trapped on a boat with someone.” She nudged him with her shoulder to let him know she was teasing. Maybe it was too soon. She held her breath, waiting for him to brush off the attempt at a joke. Instead, she saw the corners of his mouth start to lift in a smile.

“You can write your story.”

Of all the things she’d expected him to say, that would be the last.

“Why? I don’t understand.”

“I’m ready to stop running.” He looked out at the waves. “I have no intention of returning home anytime soon, but there’s no reason to keep hiding. I didn’t even get to say goodbye to my father. I’m tired of missing out on life out of fear.”

“I have a better idea.” Renee reached into her back pocket and pulled out her cell phone, holding it up. “I’m going to let you tell your story your way.”