Reality check
“I’m not sure I ever expected to hear from you again.”
Demelza’s throat constricted and she found the words difficult to push out. “Kat…”
“You still remember the nickname you gave me when we were children.” The voice on the other end of the call said, feigning mock surprise. “I am both honored and confused. What is this?”
“Kat, I’m sorry.”
Katherine, her best friend, laughed throatily. Demelza could hear the loathing in her voice, and the years of pain that came with neglect.
“You don’t get to be sorry, Mel. This one’s all on you.” Katherine said.
“I know there’s nothing I can say in my defense”
“Damn right there isn’t! you just upped and left without letting anybody know. Okay, maybe you did let people know. But you dropped off the radar. You’ve been gone for how long now? And you didn’t once bother to check in or check up on us-on me. Do you even know what I look like right now?”
Demelza considered telling Katherine that she still looked exactly like the five-feet-eleven tall brown-skinned goddess with green eyes she had grown up with, but the accusations hurt.
“I can’t begin to apologize.” Demelza choked.
“But you already did.” Katherine interjected.
“I’m trying to”
“You go AWOL on some love fest with a man and after so long, you’re back and you want a favor? That’s not how this works, baby girl. I love you, Mel but,”
“MY FATHER’S DEAD!” The words exploded from Demelza’s mouth. Then all at once, she was sorry that she had said it because now Katherine could no longer berate her. Katherine was her best friend. No matter how snarky she became, she would drop all hostilities the minute she sensed that Demelza was in pain. And oh, Demelza was in a lot of pain.
“My father’s dead, Kat. I didn’t know what else to do.” Demelza sobbed.
Katherine was silent for a long time, then she sighed and said, “I don’t like you, Mel. You don’t ever allow me to fully express my wrath, or hurt. We’re not all okay, either, you know? The least you could have done was call.”
“I know.” Demelza sniffed.
“You sound like a proper mess. I don’t think I want to hear you crying on the phone. Can you make it to my place? I’ve got ice-cream.”
Demelza chuckled when she thought of the situation. Katherine was telling her that she had ice-cream. How would Katherine react when she discovered that Nathan practically owned ice-cream? Unable to eat since the funeral, Demelza had taken to snacking on whatever junk was available and could easily put her out of her misery. Ice-cream was cold and brain freeze tended to make you forget about thinking for a while, so it was the perfect food for her to drown herself in. And Nathan’s fridge was full of ice-cream.
Still, she said to Katherine. “I could go for some ice-cream.”
“Great,” Katherine drawled. “She calls one day and she already wants to raid my stores.” This earned her a chuckle from Demelza. “You remember where my place is right?” she asked because Demelza had only gone to see her once since she moved from her old apartment. Family got bigger and a bigger house was needed but her best friend wasn’t present anymore.
Demelza struggled to remember, but she answered anyway, “yeah!”
Katherine scoffed on the other end of the line. “Yeah, right. I’ll text you the location. You have a tendency to be missing from where you’re supposed to be, and winding up in places you shouldn’t.”
Demelza thought about the two times she was abducted, and the journeys between hospitals, Nathan’s house, and her family house… and she agreed.
“I’ve sent you the address. You can pop in tomorrow.” Katherine said. Demelza breathed a sigh of relief. One she hadn’t had in a while. “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it. I’ve got to go now. See you tomorrow?”
“Yeah. And Kat…”
“What?”
“I miss you.” Demelza said, leaving the words hanging there.Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.
Katherine was silent. “Hang in there, Mel.” Then the call ended.
Demelza ran her hands across her eyes and wiped the little tears that had gathered there. She had abandoned everyone to follow Nathan, and now she wasn’t even sure if she loved him. There was so much going on in her head, she didn’t even know where she was going to start from. But she had made a decision in her mind.
She needed time away from Nathan. She wasn’t sure how long, but she could not stay here any longer. Everything was falling apart. She had to leave now that she still had her sanity intact.
That night, she slept on Nathan’s bed and let him hold her. But only because she was tired of carrying her nightmares by herself. When morning came, she told Nathan that she wanted to take a day off to rest, and Nathan had approved. He was glad that she was slowly getting better; he needed to make sure that she was healed and fully recovered.
“You don’t need to come in for work until you’re absolutely sure that you’re better. I was also thinking… I think you should see a therapist. I could schedule something for you, and we have to visit the doctor, too. So we know how far along you’re coming with the baby.”
To everything, Demelza nodded demurely. Nathan looked at her with pity in his eyes. Then he hugged her. He kissed her as he left for the office, but if Demelza felt anything, she did not show it. Nathan drove away.
As soon as Nathan was gone, she took a bath and jumped into a taxi with directions for Katherine’s house. The house was where it had always been, an apartment in a block of high-rise buildings. Demelza entered timidly, hoping that her heart would not drop to the floor as she rode the elevator all the way up.
All she had to do was knock, but the thought frightened her so much, she almost had a panic attack. She had just raised her hand to knock when the door swung open.
Demelza’s eyes were fixed on Katherine’s the minute she opened the door. Seeing her made her realize how much she missed her.
“Katherine,” she started, but Katherine just drew her into a hug and closed the door behind them. Demelza cried, not for the first time since her father had died. She told everything to Katherine, including how she was pregnant with Nathan’s child.
“I don’t know what I’m feeling for Nathan right now. My head is too scrambled up, and I can’t deal with my mother either. I just need to get out of here for a while. Please help me out, Katherine.”
Katherine considered her friend. Then said, “Wait here.” And then left. When Katherine returned, she was with her phone. Demelza had explained everything to her. She needed to leave the city. If she could leave the country too, that would be the best. But she needed a clean start.
Katherine sent the money to Demelza’s account, and Demelza broke into tears again.
“I’m such a horrible friend.” She sobbed into Katherine’s shoulder. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Yeah right, you don’t. But you’re my best friend and you’d do the same for me, too. Goodluck, Mel. I hope you find what it is you’re looking for, and heal. I’m sorry about your dad.”
Demelza took in all of Katherine’s words, then she turned to her one last time, gave her a brief hug and said that she was going to be in contact. Katherine laughed as though she had just told the most hilarious joke. Demelza joined in the laughter too.
Nathan was not home when she got back. It was best that way. She packed her things into a bag-she didn’t bring a lot of stuff into Nathan’s house anyway. She didn’t have a lot of things in the world anyway.
When she was done, she put the note she had written right on the bed and turned to look back one last time at the house and all that she was leaving behind. She thought about Nathan and how loving and kind he had been. How loving and kind he still was. She thought about her mother and how fiercely she loved her father.
She could not bring herself to think about her father.
She had abandoned so much already. What more would a few more losses cost her? There was nothing more to lose that she had not already lost. Demelza said a final farewell in her head and closed the door after her.
She rubbed her abdomen and thought about Nathan’s child growing inside her womb. She didn’t know what she was going to do, exactly, or where she was going to go, or what the future held, but she needed to take the risk anyway.
She wiped the tears from her eyes and walked away.