Alpha Billionaire Series

MADIIThis is from NôvelDrama.Org.

The comfortable recliner in Drew's room had been replaced by a hard wooden armchair. I sat perched on the edge of the chair with my phone in trembling hands. Drew was out of sorts, grumpy with everyone due to the level of pain he was in. Therapy was not being kind to his body, and Adam had just left to see about getting him some pain medication with a promise of returning shortly.

I found myself buried in my conversation with Gavin, who was being flirtatious and forcing me to use my best poker face to avoid unwanted questions from Drew. Since the night we'd shared together, we hadn't been on another date, but we spent large amounts of time on the phone or texting each other. Every time I thought it was a great time to ask Gavin for a bit of space to think things through, he did something or said something amazing to hook me and pull me in.

So, there I sat, trying to hide a smile at his flattery and compliments. My thumbs flew across my phone screen, typing a reply to him. It was incredible how he could say simple words my heart needed to hear, and they calmed the raging storm inside my heart. Never had I been so cared for or loved, and I knew it.

“F**k,” Drew shouted. My eyes snapped up to see him grimacing in pain, trying to wrestle with the bed sheets as he shifted position. They had him dressed in gym shorts and a t-shirt, a welcome change from the hospital gown he hac been wearing for months. His therapy had been going well, but the muscle pain was really getting to him.

Remaining calm, I finished my message and hit send, hoping Adam would return to shield me from the worst of Drew's nasty attitude. I didn’t blame him. I'd have been grumpy too if it were me in that bed, laid up and struggling to do basic human things. But I could do nothing for him, so I turned my attention back to my vibrating phone as another message from Gavin came in.

Gavin 5:45PM: Well, you're the best, and the prettiest, and the sexiest, and you're my favorite.

I couldnt help but smile, but the moment the grin crept across my face, Drew screamed in pain again, then turned his frustration on me.

“What the hell are you smiling about? Can't you see I'm in pain?”

Swallowing hard, I locked my phone and slid it into my pocket, standing quickly and making my way to his bedside. I helped him untangle his legs from the blankets and then put a pillow behind his head. At least he was able to move about a bit now, instead of needing the male nurse to come in and help him just to turn over.

“I'm sorry. I just... I'm here.” I situated the blanket across his bare legs and sat on the side of the bed.

Drew's angry scowl melted into a look of sorrow. “God, I'm sorry, Madii. This is just really difficult.”

My heart sank at his apology. If it weren't for me, he wouldn't be in this condition struggling like this. I was the reason he was in pain, and I was so selfish. I had been sitting there texting another man while Drew suffered. I almos burst into tears at how guilty I felt, but he slid his hand into mine.

“God, I'm sorry,” he said again. “Please don’t be sad. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” Drew held my hand tightly. I could tell the difference in his strength in just the short four and a half weeks he'd been back with me. The therapy was really working.

“No, it's not you. It's that—"

“Shhh. No need to say anything. I'm an idiot. You sat here for almost two years waiting for me while I was just a lumg of flesh on a bed. You are my queen. I love you. I am sorry I let my pain cause me to be grumpy and snap at you.” Drew's soft expression of affection warmed my heart.

As I stared into Drew's eyes, I remembered how patient he normally was with me. Before his accident, he never got harsh with me or raised his voice. He was a wild spirit at heart, free to climb mountains, jump out of planes, or walk on a tightrope over a fire. But his calm demeanor was what drew me to him. And sitting there seeing how bad he felt for something that wasn't even his fault helped me realize how foolish I was truly being with Gavin.

“Drew, I'm so sorry you're here, that you're suffering. I know that I was the one who wanted to do the scuba diving and had we gone hiking and climbing the way you wanted, none of this would have happened.” I felt tears burning my eyes at the confession. It was the first time I had been able to put into words how I felt and say that to him, and the apology did not match the failure on my part.

“Hey...” Drew's voice was firm but not harsh, and he pushed my loose black hair behind my ear before pulling my chil up to meet his gaze. He leaned forward, his face inches from mine. “This is not your fault. I chose to get in that boat. You knew underwater stuff wasn't my thing, but I did it for you because I love you."

He hovered there, hand on my chin, eyes locked onto mine. It was the first time I had allowed him to be that close to me, for fear he'd see it in my eyes, that I loved another man. This time, however, I sat there feeling the intensity of the moment. Tears trickled down my cheeks and he wiped them away. There was a familiarity between us, a comfort in being so near another individual. Not the sparks of chemistry and passion that electrified the air when I was this close to Gavin.

“I love you, Madison.” His breath pushed across my face, and I felt him touching the ring on my finger. There was no doubt in my mind what he was going to do. I could tell by the way he licked his lips, his eyes alternating between my eyes and my lips.

I tensed, unsure how I even felt about it all. I was in love with him, wasn't I? I was supposed to get married to him at one point, and here I was feeling averse to him kissing me. We'd done far more than kissing when we were dating, so why were my shoulders tensing, and my body pulling away as he leaned in?

As his eyes fluttered shut, his lips parting to close in on mine, the door swished open and Adam's barking laugh interrupted. I stood to my feet, stepping away from the dangerous proximity of Drew's lips, and breathed a sigh of relief.

“Here is your ibuprofen. The nurse will check on that muscle pain a bit later, but I'm telling you; if you just drink those protein shakes and eat more meat; you'll not be in so much pain. Your body needs protein to build the muscle it has lost and that's the pain you're feeling. You are working so hard, now fuel your body. It knows what to do.” Adam handed Drew the capsules and a glass of water, and I moved away from the side of the bed, leaving Drew's hand to drop to his lap. I avoided looking at his face because I didn’t want to know if he was upset or disappointed by the interruption. I also didn’t want to feel guilty again. My stomach was churning as it was.

My phone buzzed, but I didn’t dare pull it out and look at it. I knew it was Gavin. He had probably texted me to ask why I hadn't responded, and I didn’t have any reason except one he didn’t want to hear. I mouthed “I'll be back” to Drew as Adam went on about the next week's therapy and headed for the door but just as it swished open, Adam called me.

“Madii, you'll want to hear this!” His smile was encouraging, and Drew looked upset, so I lingered there at the door. I didn’t know what could be so exciting that I'd have to stay there when I felt so panicked, but every single action I took was on display at the moment. Every breath, every gesture, every facial expression. I was the actress on a stage and the critics were cruel. This was the performance of my life.

“Just need the toilet.” Poor excuse to leave the room, but I needed to get a breath of air and think of a logical reaso why I would not want to kiss my fiancé.

“Just one sec?” Adam turned to Drew. “So, after the progress I've seen here this week, I am thinking in just a few weeks, you'll be ready to move home. Or maybe to a nursing home where they can care for you if needed. If you can afford at-home nursing, you can just go home and have Madison, your mother, and a visiting nurse take care of you.” The good news drew me back into the room like a magnet. Drew was all smiles, and I pasted a smile on my face, but following the almost-kiss, my gut was a churning mess.

“So, a few weeks? Like two? Three?” Drew pushed himself more upright and his eyes bounced between Adam's face and mine. When he focused on me, I tried to be a bit happier. It was, after all, very good news for him. And if it was good news for him, then it was good news for me too. At least, it should have been. So why didn’t my heart feel like i was good news?

“It depends on how hard you work, but yeah, two or three.”

It seemed his pain was suddenly gone, frightened away by happiness, or diminished by the endorphins released when he got the good news. I was happy for him too, though a sudden apprehension about him moving on and fully recovering smacked me. If he was this intense while trapped in a hospital bed, unable to do much, how would he be when they let him go home? He insisted on talking about our future and the wedding, but I had tried so hard to focu him on the current situation and his healing.

They talked for a while longer while I stood there locked in my head. I didn’t pay attention when Adam left the room, and Drew snapping his fingers in front of my face is what brought me back to reality. I blinked a few times and focused on his face. His smile faded and his brow furrowed.

“Earth to Madii.” He frowned at me and leaned back in bed the moment we made eye contact. “What's going on? You don’t seem happy.”

I shook my head, trying to push away the negative thoughts I was having. The smile I tried to force onto my face refused to reveal itself, so Drew got a strange mixture of my nervous apprehension and a half smile.

“Is everything okay?” He patted the bed beside himself, and sensing that the mood for a romantic kiss had passed, I complied, settling down beside him. My blood pressure had to be through the roof from the amount of anxiety and stress I was under. I should have seen a doctor for it.

“I'm okay. This is all happening so fast now. You know? I know it doesn’t seem like it's going fast enough for you, but went almost two years without you, and in the past nearly five weeks, everything has changed.”

Drew took my hand and kissed it. “Yeah, I can imagine. You learned how to exist alone. You probably felt really lonely and adapted to a level of isolation. This has got to be overwhelming for you.”

I wanted to agree. More than anything, my heart felt like it was scrabbling for connection, but I couldn't find it with him. For years it had been so easy to fold into his arms, feel his heart beating and listen to his words, and let my heart connect to him. But he had been gone. I had made a connection with someone else, and that connection was so strong right now.

The only thing I could do was nod, because while Drew was halfway correct, he was also wrong. I had definitely gone through that phase of being alone and adjusting to being alone. But I had also moved on, and what I was wrestling with right now was how to tell him I'd moved on, and how to face the guilt of destroying his body and life, then breaking his heart too. I was stuck between both of them, and I couldn't only sit there and nod.