Diary of Fragile Heart (Spin of Loving You Too Long)

Silence enveloped Gladwin and Abigail as they sat in the quiet hospital corridor. It was approaching dawn when Abigail finished narrating the lengthy tale of Flavia.

Anger welled up in Gladwin. Disappointment in himself and shame for Flavia, making the girl he loved struggle alone, surged simultaneously. “Why didn’t any of you tell me?” was the only question that escaped Gladwin’s lips.

“Because that’s what Flavia wanted,” Abigail replied softly.

“To hell with her wishes!” Gladwin glared at Abigail in anger. “Do you think that’s what she truly wanted? Do you think she’s afraid I’d pity her?” Gladwin vented his frustration with short breaths. “What she needed at that time was my presence, even if she said otherwise. What she feared wasn’t my pity; she knew that. What she feared was that I would fall into despair with her.”

“Oh God…” Gladwin roughly clasped his head. “What kind of man am I?” he muttered to himself. “I said I loved her, but I wasn’t even there during her tough times.” Gladwin slumped against the wall, tears streaming down. Abigail looked at her uncle with a melancholic gaze.

Her uncle was right. Back then, he shouldn’t have simply accepted Flavia’s request. Perhaps, doing so would have prevented their current situation. Gladwin could have helped Flavia recover mentally; at least, he could have provided the emotional support she needed so that she wouldn’t feel so low right now. But time couldn’t be rewound, and Abigail didn’t want any regrets. There was still a future they could build, a future they could shape. An unstained blank page.

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Several hours later, Eijaz emerged from the operating room. Antony was the only one there. Claire had gone home a while ago at Antony’s request, as their three other children required her attention. Especially baby Meizar, who still needed his mother’s breast milk.

“Waiting for the anesthesia to wear off. Hopefully, there are no side effects. I’ve done my best.” Eijaz stated, and Antony responded with a weak nod. The middle-aged man slumped wearily in the metal chair. Eijaz sat beside him, still in his green uniform. “Uncle, how could this happen? Flavia is someone very careful,” he asked, more out of curiosity.

Antony shook his head. “I don’t know. Everything happened so quickly. Suddenly, I found her lying on the kitchen floor.” Antony answered honestly. “She’ll really be okay?” he asked with concern.

Eijaz nodded. “I’ve done my best. I can only predict. And in my opinion, she’ll be okay. The rest depends on the patient’s physical and mental condition. Conditions change according to the patient’s own state.” He reassured.

Similar to the dosage of anesthesia given to the patient, the postoperative side effects would depend on the patient’s own physical condition. That’s what Eijaz believed.

Eijaz fell silent for a moment, his thoughts suddenly turning to the events of that afternoon. He turned to Antony. “Is Flavia under any stress?” he inquired. Antony looked at him with a furrowed brow. “Honestly, yesterday afternoon she had just had a checkup.”

Antony was startled to learn a fact he didn’t know about his daughter. Apparently, she still independently sought medical checkups from Eijaz.

“How were the results of the examination?”

“She complained of a headache.” Eijaz replied, recalling Flavia’s pale face when she came after sending him a short message. “We immediately did a scan, and all the results were fine.” He answered truthfully. “Often, headaches arise from stress, fatigue, and excessive thinking. And I think, this time, her headache is more likely due to fatigue and too much on her mind.”

“I don’t know the cause. Initially, I was going to talk about it while going to eat, but before going home, Flavia suddenly changed her mind and asked me to take her home.”

And Antony also remembered the events at his house that afternoon. When he witnessed Flavia pouring out her feelings to Claire. The sadness his daughter felt, the mental burden she had been carrying. And Antony felt once again that he had failed as a father.

Abigail was seen running upon spotting Eijaz. The sound of her shoes echoed through the deserted hallway. Behind her, Gladwin also ran with an equally anxious expression.

“How is she?” she asked, breathless. Gladwin’s condition was no less disheveled. Antony’s brother-in-law looked disheveled, and remnants of tears were still visible on his face even though he had wiped them away. Eijaz could see it from his wet hair.

“Let’s just wait for her to regain consciousness,” Eijaz replied. He then looked at Gladwin. “Can we talk privately?” he asked. Gladwin nodded and followed Eijaz. Eijaz led Gladwin to a quiet corridor, far enough from the hearing range of Antony and Abigail.

The man turned his body to face Gladwin when he felt they were at a sufficient distance. “I don’t know if this has anything to do with you or not,” he said without preamble. “You know that I love Flavia, even though I can’t compare the extent of my love to yours. And it’s clear to me that Flavia loves you too, whether you’re aware of it or not.” Gladwin just stared at him, having no words to reply. Because Eijaz himself didn’t require his retort. “Flavia has suffered enough all this time. Even though she doesn’t say it, I’ve clearly observed it. My companionship with her over the last five years has allowed me to read her character to some extent.

“Something is wrong here,” he murmured. His eyes were no longer focused on Gladwin. “About your relationship.” He continued. Gladwin remained silent. “You need to know, there is no serious relationship between us, even though I hoped for it. Flavia never mentioned your name, but by the look in her eyes, I know the reason she rejected me all this time is you.

“And let me tell you, my greater hope is to see her happy.

“I don’t know how you’re going to fight for Flavia. But if you’re just going to remain silent, then I will step forward. I won’t give her a chance to distance herself anymore. I won’t give her an opportunity to be with you again.

“But I’ll let her go if you’re going to fight for her,” he stated firmly, locking eyes with Gladwin, carefully observing the man’s expression. “So please tell me. Are you going to fight for her, or are you going to give up? Because honestly, I can’t bear to see her continue to suffer like this.”