249
Theresa
“So, he walked out on you?” Elsa glances at me with wide eyes. “He just left?”Copyright Nôv/el/Dra/ma.Org.
“Y-e-a-p!” I nod.
Damn it, I had been dreading this conversation, which is why I had stayed away from my shop since arriving home. Hell, I hadn’t even gone home. Instead, I had stayed with Michael and Karma for the week since returning from London. They had respected my privacy and let me be. Which meant, I had done nothing but sleep late most days, and cry myself to sleep most nights. In between, Cass had taken over the job of getting my food to my room.
Initially, I had protested but she’d brooked no arguments. She’d told me I should focus on simply getting my strength back. I had been too heart-broken to protest, so I had taken advantage of the generosity of my friends. It took five days for me to venture out of my room, a week for me to face up to my life, and tell them that I was ready to face the world. I had asked to move back into Xander’s home and Michael had been more than happy for me to do that. So, I have taken up residence in the home of the man I once thought I loved, which later became the home of the man I know I still love, and neither of them are here with me.
It was clear that he was… He still is my future. There is no one else for me, except him. If only he would realize that. I finally made it to work today, and as expected, Elsa is full of questions. It doesn’t seem half as agonizing as I’d anticipated to talk to her about what happened. In fact, it’s almost a relief to be able to finally share the events with a friend.
“And this was right after he told you all that he was an undercover cop?” her voice rises in disbelief.
I nod again.
She blinks rapidly. “And they let him leave?”
“Seb called Michael, but I didn’t hear what he said.” I raise a shoulder.
“Ah!” Elsa’s flushes.
“You okay?” I peer into her features.
“Of course.” She glances about the tiny office we share behind the flower shop. “Is it warm in here? Did you turn up the heating again?”
“No, I didn’t.” I watch as she goes to the window and flings it open, then leans out and takes in a few deep breaths, before she turns to face me again.
“I have to admit, everyone seems to have behaved in a very civilized manner.”
“You mean, considering it was more or less a stand-off between the cops and the Mafia?” I ask wryly.
“We live in Mafia land, so I wasn’t surprised you were linked to the Sovranos, but,” she shakes her head, “what are the odds that you’d marry a man who was trying to take them down?”
“I know, right?” I shake my head.
“I can’t believe he would leave like that,” Elsa says in a soft voice.
“Me neither.” I shuffle my feet. A tightens grips my chest and I fold my fingers together in front of me. I will not cry; will not cry. I will not regress to my state of mind during the first few days when we returned from London. I cried bucketloads trying to make sense of everything that had happened, and I didn’t think there was anything left, but it feels like there’s still more in there, waiting for an opportunity to reveal my misery. Dammit.
Karma and Cass had rallied around me, even though Karma herself had been unwell, suffering from morning sickness in the first trimester of her pregnancy. She lost her first child in the same car blast that killed Xander. So, she’s trying to be extra-careful with this one. Not to mention, Michael won’t let her out of his sight.
Christian and Aurora returned from their honeymoon, though the two of them still spend a lot of time together. It feels good to see both of these happy couples. It gives me some hope that true love is still alive in the world. That true love will find a way. I know a bit about what happened with both couples and I find myself fantasizing about Axel coming back to me, but sometimes, I think I must be delusional.
He sent me away, said he didn’t love me. And for what? Because he was angry with himself for not having protected me better? Because he was a coward and couldn’t stand the fact that he loved me so much that it hurt him? Either way, he had simply walked out on me, with no explanation. Goddamn. I rub my forehead.
“Have you heard from him since?” Elsa asks softly.
I shake my head. “He said that he wanted a divorce-”
“No,” Elsa bursts out, “that cad! How could he do this?”
“Yeah,” I laugh bitterly. “To be honest, I am still getting my head around everything.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have come in. Perhaps, you should have just taken more time off-”
“And do what?” I sniffle. “I don’t want to stay at Axel’s place, surrounded by memories and thoughts of what-if. And my mother and my sister have been so supportive, you know? They haven’t pushed me for any explanations, but I don’t want to go there either. Of course, my sister Sara thinks I should just forget everything and move on.”
“And would you be able to do that? Move on, I mean?” Elsa murmurs.
I stare at the computer screen on which I had been trying to work through some of the accounts. Yeah, I had been so desperate to keep my mind occupied that I had actually decided to tackle the annual taxes. Go figure.
The tears I’ve held back so far trickle down my cheeks. “Oh hell,” I wipe them away but they continue to fall faster. “Damn it.” I reach for a tissue and blow into it. “I don’t want to cry. I don’t want to cry over that asshole, but damn it, I do miss him. I didn’t know him for very long, but every time I close my eyes, my mind takes me right back to the time we spent together. And how I felt when I was with him.”
“How did you feel?” she asks softly.
“I felt…complete, you know?” I wipe my cheek on my shoulder, “I felt grounded, like I had found my mooring. Like I had found something I didn’t even know I was missing.” I turn to stare at her over the table, “Is it possible to feel so much for someone you knew for such a short time?”
My face crumples. “Damn, damn, damn.” I bury my face in my hands and bite down on the inside of my cheek. I so don’t want to cry. It doesn’t make me feel any better. I only end up with a headache and a stuffy nose after each crying jag, and I really don’t want that right now.
“Oh, honey.” Elsa walks over and bends to hug me, “I am so sorry, Theresa, I truly am. I wish I could do something to help you.”
“You are,” I sniffle, then swallow down my tears. She leans back and I lower my hands, “I am fine as long as I keep my mind occupied.”
She straightens, “Hey, you can tackle the taxes. I am not complaining.”
I laugh.
“But we need to do something else, something to really take your mind off of everything and help you get over that stronzo.” She taps her cheek.
“What are you thinking of?”
“Something you are going to absolutely love.”
“I am?” I ask cautiously.
“Yes,” she snaps her fingers, “I know just the thing.”
“You sure? The last time you tried to cheer me up, I had three men in strange purple suits try to serenade me as I walked the street.”
“They were a Mariachi band,” she protests.
“Who carried loads of flowers on their back.”
“I was trying to combine it with a marketing stunt for the shop,” she reminds me.
“I was really embarrassed when they followed me around on the street. Everyone was watching me.”
“Everyone was applauding their singing,” she points out.
“The most embarrassing moment of my life,” I scowl at her.
“Well, they cheered you up and took your mind off of the fact that our business was really slow, didn’t they?”
“Temporarily,” I admit. “You also spent money we didn’t have,” I add.
“But thanks to the stunt, people noticed you and our little flower shop, and business picked up shortly afterward.
“It’s true, but that was just a coincidence.”
“My ideas always pay off,” she tosses her head over her shoulder, “it’s just that, it might take a little time to see the benefits.”
“Hmm,” I rise to my feet, “just as long as there are no mariachis, or anyone following me around with flowers, trying to serenade me.”