Chapter 38 Erotic Love
NIA’S POV
The ride back to the packhouse felt strained. I kept stealing glances at Kingston. To say I am shocked is an understatement. I never thought he would harbor such feelings towards me. I get that he meant no harm, but that doesn’t make it comforting. I had called him my brother, acted childish in front of him, and even went as far as showing him part of my skin whenever I had some rash there. How did I not notice the extra attention he always pays to me? I feel so bad for not being able to conjure a sentence to everything he said, as much as he tries to hide it. The unhappiness is so apparent.
“I never thought you harbored a different kind of affection towards me. I don’t think I will be able to reciprocate it.” I said after a lifetime of silence.All content is property © NôvelDrama.Org.
His hand gripped the steering wheel tightly; for a moment, it felt like he wanted to squeeze the iron out. “Let’s not talk about it.”
“Kingston….” I called out in a whisper, but he shook his head in response.
“Please, Nia. It would help if you didn’t say anything you might regret. Let’s leave it for now. I expressed how I felt because I already knew what I wanted and how I felt. So, I want you to do the same too. Give me a response when you have reflected on it.”
The silence returned until he dropped me off. Aside from saying goodnight, he didn’t hug or kiss my foreheads like always. I’m glad he kept his distance. It would have been too awkward. Taking off my shoes, I exhaled, feeling stiff in the neck.
“You are back, lady Nia.” The live-in maid said, welcoming me. “Let me help with the bag. Would you like to have dinner?”
I smiled weakly, “thanks for your concern, Greta. I will take a quick walk and return to sleep. It would help if you retired for the night. Thanks for your concern.”
She bowed shortly and returned to her room. Even though we don’t talk much, I am glad there is the presence of a person in the house and not just me. I have never lived by myself before. Heading back out, I inhaled the misty air of the night. The half moon dimmed up in the sky with the stars complimenting it. I wish I were one of those stars, just sitting pretty and not having to worry about awful Alpha and affectionate brother cum lover. The beauty of the packhouse is the large expanse of land that it has. You can walk all you want without worrying about the time, except I still have to be careful.
After experiencing a near rape experience, it’s clear that a place can’t be safe. I hope the Alpha takes note of his member’s safety. Many times, I reminisce on that day. Perry is my knight in shining armor. She saved me twice and still stands guard behind me like a mother hen despite our distance. I miss her, and I wish she were here. It would have made my thoughts easier to conform. It’s almost like she has a solution to everything. A smile spread as I recall the moments of running aimlessly into the woods and just howling into the night. I miss my friend. The one true friendship I have ever made in my entire years of living.
I know I am trying hard to avoid thinking about tonight with Kingston. But as hard as I try, it keeps holding onto my subconscious, and I try searching my mind to see if I ever thought of him differently, unlike how I think of Ezra. Perry’s brother amuses me. Probably because that is the closest I have been with someone who is not as a family-his genuine show of concern and random gifts. Many times at the clinic, he doesn’t have to show up. But he texts to ask if I have eaten and have someone deliver the food to me.
It’s a complicated situation to judge, and he is probably just being nice because he sees me as a temporary replacement for Perry. Or does he have the same thoughts as Kingston? I never would have thought that way of Kingston. I checked my phone to see if I missed his message or call, but nothing appeared on the screen. Reaching the garden, I sat on the grass, staring into space. I hope he is fine and not thinking of doing anything stupid. As much as I want to try and think about it, I doubt if my feelings towards Kingston would go past the sibling’s affection.
He is friendly, but I don’t want any entanglement with his family. I have enough on my plate as it is. I was admitting to myself that nothing of such would work out. I unlocked my phone and typed my response to him. It’s obvious now that our relationship will become strained. Thankfully, he won’t have to worry about me for too long.
According to Perry, different people from several walks of life exist in New York. A beautiful human or werewolf will get to steal his heart, and I won’t have to feel guilty towards him.
I contemplated hard before pressing the send button. I hope he doesn’t hate me for this and tries to understand my origins. I doubt if I will have a love life like every other person. Maybe someday, but it isn’t now.
My thoughts halted when I heard a sound behind me. Sniffing, I got up to see where the noise was from. By a tree where one of the night lights shined brightly stood the Alpha and an unfamiliar lady. It’s not like I am familiar with many people around here.
It looks like they are having some argument. The Alpha seems to have been resting there, judging by the bottle of whiskey on the bench and his attire.
“Why won’t you just let me go?” The lady sounded like she was crying. All of a sudden, she fell to her knees. “Please, Alpha Gael, I can’t do this anymore. I want to be free, please.” She wailed, holding onto his leg.
He yanked her off like she was some fly. “Get that filthy hand off me. You should have known better before agreeing to this from the beginning. I don’t care about what you think. I will decide what becomes of you. If you still have some ounce of respect, you will leave right now. Or I will have you dragged away.” Gael warned. He had a cold look in his eyes. It made me wonder if he even has a heart.
Life sure is a funny thing; many times, I wonder why people like Gael and my adoptive parents possess enough ability to trample on others. When those with good hearts end up being paupers and maltreated, I guess I will never know the answer to that. Seeing how calm and collected the Alpha appeared after the lady left. It made me shiver. The more I get to know him, the more I realize his brutality. I hope our paths never cross till I die.